Hi gang, sorry for the (unintentional) break, I’d had enough of social media last week and so decided to have a mini detox. This also coincided with some seriously stunning weather here in the UK so I decided to skip a week of blogs and allow myself to simply enjoy it without worrying about followers, likes and analytics. Although we don’t get sunshine here that often, British summertime really does bring out the best in people and seeing every ones smiling faces made the last few days simply beautiful! So after a little break and some much needed TLC, I’m now rested and ready to get back to it, which brings to this post – these images are some of my favourites ever shot with the wonderful Zoe. Although on first glance they may look care free and graceful, getting there was quite the mission and had both Zoe and I in fits of tears and laughter. I’d love to have a film crew follow us one day when we’re shooting so you could see the real ‘behind the gram’ goings on because wow, the things we do to get a shot you wouldn’t believe! Anyhu, I wanted to write this post with this very apt title – ‘Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle’ because it’s something I imagine we all need to hear and more so, something I really need to start listening to.
On first glance and even to those who know me quite well, I can seem really confident. I find it easy to make conversation and wouldn’t get nervous about entering a room full of strangers. However underneath that lies a rather fragile sense of self worth. I hate confrontation, I’d rather walk away from a situation or calmly talk through a disagreement rather than have a shouting match. I don’t enjoy bringing people down or asserting authority and I often find it difficult to stand my ground when I feel intimidated. I sometimes take things to heart but instead of big, dramatic events it’ll more likely be a singular comment made by someone – months or years back and I’ll allow it to slowly chip away at my self confidence instead of facing it head on. I think the common mistake that people make about me is ‘oh she takes pictures and poses in front of a camera – she must love herself’ when in fact that’s not the case at all. Yes, I find it easy to stand and glance off into the distance while someone presses click on a camera and yep, I can stand on a stage and sing/dance whilst the audience watches me but again, this doesn’t mean I’m 100% confident with who I am as a person. In fact it’s standing on stage as a character or taking fashion shots as ‘littlemisswinney’ that I find easy, It’s not me – It’s my character and so I feel less vulnerable.
I find posts like this hard to write, it’s so hard to articulate these kind of thoughts and so my writing tends to trail off into some kind of ramble but please stick with it. I write it because I figure/hope I’m not the only person that has these thoughts and struggles with these things. Sometimes I’ll be having a great day and one comment can completely turn it upside down. At the moment I’m trying to let go of things that have happened in the past. I have such a hard time doing it but I know I need to in order to move forward and grow as a person. It’s taken a long time for me to accept but I really do hold on to things and I need to be able to acknowledge this as appose to ignore it. As the title of this post suggests, I find the idea of putting people down in order to lift yourself up a difficult one to digest. I’ll only say it once – blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine brighter! There’s been so, so many instances were people have tried to put me down, my work, my body, my opinions and my personality. I have to remind myself not to let any of it sink in and to not let anyone dull my sparkle. There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for
conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is
with themselves.
Dress – River Island, Shoes – Kurt Geiger, Watch – Larsson & Jennings,
Glasses – Glasses Direct, Necklace – Daniella Draper
Photography – Zoe Griffin
Last week, I had a little glitch in the mental health system – another reason why I decided to take a little step back from the blog and from social media. I think it’s a wonderful thing that the stigma surrounding mental health is slowly lifting, it’s normal people! Everyone has good days and bad days regarding their state of mind and I’m happy that I’m now comfortable enough to find writing about mental health the same way I do my physical health. Going forward I want my blog to be more open, a safe space with conversations surrounding mental help as I wouldn’t want anyone reading this to ever feel alone or isolated. In an age of social media it’s easy to compare ourselves to others but let me tell you – no one’s life is perfect and everything you seen online or on social media is a snapshot. A single second of someone’s life and the exact moment they’ve chosen to share. Don’t let a shiny, well edited image distract you from real life, your life is just as special so never feel inferior to what you see online.
I’m currently back meditating a few times a week, something that really helps me. I’ve talked about the app Headspace on here lots of times before but if you’re not familar check it out. I’ve also (shock horror) started running again, I’ve never found running easy however I find it’s the best way to clear my head and dismiss negative thoughts. I suppose saying ‘don’t let anyone dull your sparkle’ is far easier said than done, however it’s important we remind ourdelves of it regardless. Nothing worth having is easy to get but this next month I fully intend to take more me time, focus on the inside and practise a little bit more self love because as mama Ru Paul says time and time again – “If you can’t love yourself, how are you gonna love anyone else.”
So once again (I did warn ya) a bit of a rambling post but one I thought necessary to share. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you got to see a little bit more of the ‘real’ me. I’d love to hear you’re thoughts, any tips you have or exercises you do to improve your mental health and also if you enjoy reading the more personal posts. I’m constantly striving to write more engaging posts and to share different parts of my life. As always, thank you for stopping by. I’ll be back on Sunday for the Weekly Roundup. Enjoy the Sunshine!
K x
