BAM! – The moments that define us

You know those days that sometimes just come lurking up on you…
You know the ones, where you’re having a perfectly normal, happy, productive week then BAM! Just like that you fall from hero to zero and feel like complete and utter sh*t…yeah, those. They creep up on us for a variety of reasons, be it an insecurity that’s reared its ugly head, seeing a picture of your ex with a new girl (yes it’s been years, yes I do irrationally expect him to be single forever – sorry bout it) or simply that feeling of impending doom when you dare think about your future. Regardless of why, it happens, it happens to us all and *spoiler alert* this post isn’t going to tell you how to tackle it and have it never happen again, sadly its part and parcel of life. But a problem shared is a problem halved right? And sometimes just knowing you’re not the only one going through it makes it all seem that little bit better.

So as a blogger/over sharer here’s mine. I was in bed one morning last week doing my daily social media checks and updates and up pops on my ‘people you may know’ section on Instagram a picture, a picture of…lets call it ‘the girl who got the guy.’

 Yep, there they were, the two of then looking all happy and loved up and seemingly not having a care in the world…and there I was just sat staring thinking of everything I’d experienced in the months prior to me seeing this post. But the BAM! Didn’t happen then, oh no! That’s far to obvious. After a quick Insta stalk (oh come on we all do it) I put my phone down and got dressed for the gym, it was a Thursday and so my 12 o’clock spinning class was on the agenda.
So off I went, not a care in the world, ready to get sweaty and cycle my butt off!

Scarf – Maison Scotch, Glasses c/o – Rayban via Pretavoir, Jacket – Zara,
Jeans c/o – ASOS, Trainers c/o – Boden, Bag c/o – Boden
Photography – Zoe Griffin 
The class is amazing (shout out to Artur at Puregym) but hardcore and I’m always guaranteed to leave not only looking like I’ve had a shower whilst fully clothed but pumped with endorphins and ready to face the day head on…but that’s after the class. During it’s both physically and mentally tough, sprints, climbs, intervals – it’s a goody but a toughie.
Anyway, midway through the class I was lagging, fatigue had hit and I was struggling to complete my final sprint…that’s when it happened, the familiar lurk…the BAM!
Suddenly the image I’d scrolled past earlier that morning was playing in some sort of looped slide show in my head. Straight away I felt it, that sinking feeling, that feeling of ‘I’m not good enough.’ making comparisons and basically coming to the conclusion that I must just be horrible, ugly and generally just shit at life. As I continued to cycle away quite literally trying to spin the thoughts out of my head I heard Artur start the 10 second countdown until our next sprint interval and within those 10 seconds I took a moment and figured no matter what I do, I will never be anyone other than myself and I should bloody love that! So these pictures/thoughts, whatever and whenever they decide to enter this little head of mine can do one of two things, they either ruin my day, leaving me miserable and unproductive eating a pack of dough-nuts whilst watching gossip girl re-runs in bed OR they spur me on, to be the best I can be, to push myself and to accept that who I am and what I do is just as good as anyone else. Yes… a lot of thoughts fitted into these 10 seconds and which did I go for? Option number two (yay) It’s a rarity but this time round I didn’t let the BAM! pull me down, instead I let it push me up, push to to be better.
 The countdown ended and off we went. I’m proud to say I reached a
personal best with my speed and RPM on the bike that day *fist pump*

It is so important to not compare ourselves to others. It is hard, especially with social media not to see a picture and instantly scroll off a list of why they’re better, skinner, healthier, prettier…etc but no!
It can have such a negative effect on our mental health, I’ve made a huge effort in the last few weeks to not allow those thoughts to enter my head and I not only feel happier but I feel so much more confident in my skin. If I ever choose to change anything it should be because I want to and not because I’ve seen a picture of someone else leading me to think I’m not good enough.
We all have our own BAM! moments in one way or another, whatever the trigger may be but next time try, try to do as I did and turn that BAM! around, grab it by the balls and say ‘not today hun, bye Felicia!’

K x


1 Comment

  1. Holly Louise
    May 5, 2017 / 10:49 pm

    The way you write is so relateable. Thank you for sharing this, i don't feel as alone (I realise how sad that sounds but its true) These moments always happen to me and knowing I'm not the only one is a relief. Photos are great too! Holly x